Stories by Grumps

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NEWSPAPER DAYS

When Grumps was a little boy, he loved to read. This was a good thing; it made his momma and daddy very proud. He was a good reader and one of his favorite stories was Tom Sawyer and painting the fence.

It seems that Tom Sawyer hated to work, what he liked to do was laze around, throw rocks in the pond and fish in the creeks. Now, Grumps liked to do those things too but he really liked to read and so when work cut into his reading time, well, he wasn’t happy about that.

So one day his daddy came home and said, “I’ve noticed that you’ve been sort of lazing around this summer and that’s a good thing to enjoy your vacation from school, but I think it’s time for you to work a little bit and I have the perfect job for you.”

“What’s that?” Grumps asked.

“Well, I just talked to Bud Hyde, the man whose son delivers the Hanover Evening Sun, newspapers in town and the Hydes are going on a long vacation so they need someone to fold the papers when they are dropped off at the railway station and then get on their bike and deliver them to all the people in New Windsor!”

“How much do I get paid?”  Grumps asked.

“Bud said it would be a nickel for every delivery, and that adds up to a pretty good amount , about 100 papers delivered would be $5.00 a day, times seven days a week that would be ….”

“Exactly $35.00 a week, I’ll take the job.” Grumps shouted.  He wasn’t very good at math unless it involved money!

This was a long time ago when a lot of people didn’t have TVs in New Windsor so the only way they got the news was from The Hanover Morning Sun newspaper.

So, bright and early the following Monday morning Grumps pedaled his bike down to the train station. When the train came in from Hanover, one of the conductors tossed a big stack of newspapers from the train. They were tied up real tight and made a whopping sound when they landed at Grumps’ feet.

Now, Bud Hyde’s son, Billy, who normally delivered the newspapers, had given Grumps instructions.

“You cut the string on the big stack of papers, take each newspaper and roll it up real tight, then take a rubber band and put it around the paper!”

“I’ve got it,” Grumps said. “Then I deliver to all the people on this list you gave me. I’ll be great at this, I love to ride my bike and I know everybody in town!”

“Well, just make sure that everyone gets their newspaper or when we come back from vacation we’ll be out of business!” Billy said.

“Just relax, enjoy your vacation, I’ve got you covered,” Grumps said.

So, when that first stack of newspapers hit at the train station at Grumps’ feet it was game on----newspaper delivery time!

The first day went reasonably well---all things considering--- like the paper he threw in a driveway mud puddle by mistake and the three dogs that chased him out of their yards, and the old lady who said if he didn’t start bringing the paper earlier that she was going to cancel her subscription.

But at the end of that first day he was really tired from all the work, getting up early to meet the train, rolling and rubber banding the papers., pedaling all over town, up and down hills. The only thing that kept him going was the fact that he had earned $5.00 to put in his bank.

He was so tired that he almost didn’t meet his friends down at Sam’s Creek for their daily fishing for sunfish.  And when he came in late, sort of limping from all that bike peddling, Sammy Hough said, “Hey, where have you been? We’ve been lazing in the sun and fishing all afternoon!”

“Oh, I thought you knew,” Grump said, “I’ve got a full time job delivering the Hanover Sun to one hundred people, like your mom and dad, to everybody in town!”

Now, his friends dropped their rods and reels and ganged around Grumps, “For real, you’re the new paperboy?” They were excited and talking all at once.

Then Sammy said, “How does someone get to do that?”

“Do what?” Grumps asked.

“Cruise around town on your bike and throw newspapers at people’s houses. I bet if I could do that it would be good for my pitching arm,” Sammy said.

Then Brian chimed in, “Heck, I’m a shortstop, it would be good for my arm too and I love to ride my bike!”

“Hey,” Grumps’ friend Benny said, “you know what I’d like, don’t you?”

The boys including Grumps shook their heads no!

“Tossing a paper in the yards of the bad dogs, then not being able to get in trouble for teasing them when they chased me on my bike”

And it was then that Grumps’ great joy of reading hit the jackpot! He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He had probably read the story of Tom Sawyer and the painting of the fence a hundred times.  Tom had been given the job of painting a fence, he didn’t want to work and so he not only talked his friends into painting the fence for him, convinced them that it was fun, he made them pay him to do it!

“Well, if you guys are interested in being Associate Newspaper Delivery Boys, then maybe we can work something out,” Grumps said.

“Wow, Associate Newspaper Delivery Boy,” Sammy said, “How much would it cost us to do this?”

Now, Grumps was so excited that he could barely talk. But he got himself together and stammered. “How does fifty cents a day from each of you sound? I’ll make sure you get the best streets and best routes!  And I’ll even let you untie the papers, roll them and rubber band them when they come into the train station.”

The three boys, Sammy, Brian and Benny looked at each other and finally Sammy said, “I think I can afford this----gee whiz, Associate Newspaper Delivery Boy, that is sweeeeeeeeeet!”

And the following morning when the newspapers hit the sidewalk in front of the railroad station, Grumps sat back and watched. His three Associate Newspaper Boys went to work, untying the papers, rolling them up, rubber banding them. And then with their little maps and set of instructions the associates, after placing two quarters each in Grumps’ chubby little hand, were off to deliver.

Grumps watched them pedal off on their bikes and said, “Wow, I’m pretty bushed, I think I’ll slip down to the creek and do a little fishing!”

Well, this Tom Sawyer routine went on for almost a week. Grumps was raking it in, money from his associates, then the money from Mr. Hyde, who would pay up the big bucks when he returned from vacation.

This routine went well until Grumps, who---while his associates delivered---was taking a nap on the platform at the train station, saw his father coming around the corner.

“Grumps, why aren’t you delivering the newspapers?” his father said.

“Oh, I’ve got that covered; I have associates working the route for me, very capable young men, doing a great job!”

Now his father was really mad. “Well, if they are doing such a great job then why are the customers calling the house complaining about you teasing their dogs, throwing the papers into puddles, delivering the papers to their neighbors instead of them?”

And before Grumps could say another word, his father said, “AND, why are your mother and I getting calls from Benny, Sammy and Brian’s parents, wondering  what in the world our son is doing charging their sons to deliver newspapers!

Really, Grumps, paying them to do a job that you agreed to do, giving them a bit of your salary would be bad enough.  BUT YOU’RE CHARGING THEM to do your work while you hide down here at the railroad station and nap!”

“It’s not my fault,” Grumps said.

“Then whose is it?” his daddy shouted.

“Tom Sawyer, heck he did it with the fence painting in that story so it’s not my fault because I happen to like to read,” Grumps said.

“Well, I’ll tell you what’s your fault, you missed the moral of the Tom Sawyer story!”

“What’s a moral of a story?” Grumps said, hanging his head.

“The moral of a story is supposed to teach you how to be a better person, you see someone like Tom Sawyer do something bad like shirk his duty and then charge his friends to paint his fence and you say, ‘That’s wrong, I would never do that!’

Just as Grumps’ dad had finished his lecture three bikes came flying down the hill. “Hey, Mr. Cairns, we’re Associate Newspaper Delivery Boys, and we’re back to get more papers for today’s last delivery,” Brian said.

Then Grumps father said, “Well, boys, sadly this will be your last delivery and when you come back my son here will not only be giving you your payments back he will be giving you each a note with an amount on it. And when he gets paid when Mr. Hyde gets home, you will each get paid for all you’ve done!”

“Gee, Mr. Cairns does that mean we’re being fired?”

“No, you see your friend here didn’t have the authority to hire you. This was his job and he didn’t do what he agreed to do so…..”

“I’m sorry guys, I really am,” Grumps said.

“One more question,” Sammy said, “can we still tell the girls at the soda fountain that we’re all Associate Newspaper Deliver Boys?”

“I think that would be fine, “Grumps’ father said, “and now that Grumps will be paying you back, you’ll have enough cash to buy the girls a soda!”

“What was the moral of that story,” Grumps asked, hanging his head.

“Honesty is the best policy!”  his daddy said.

“Yes and here’s another moral of this story. While I’m hard at work delivering the newspapers, the associates get the girlfriends,” Grumps said.