Stories by Grumps

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THE ELVES GO HAWAIIAN

For Santa’s elves this had been a most stressful year. Requests for toys from the virus’s home-bound children were up forty percent.

Then on the very day that demands for toys reached a new high, Santa heard unusual music from the toy barn. At first it sounded like Bing Crosby’s Mele Kalikimaka! 

He listened and it was!  This was very strange!

Mele Kalikimaka is the thing to say
On a bright Hawaiian Christmas Day
That's the island greeting that we send to you
From the land where palm trees sway
Here we know that Christmas will be green and bright
The sun to shine by day, and all the stars at night
Mele Kalikimaka is Hawaii's way to say Merry Christmas to you

Then he distinctly heard more music and this was clearly the song, “How Would You like to Spend Christmas on Christmas Island?” 

Let's get away from sleigh bells, let's get away from snow
Let's make a break some Christmas, Dear, I know the place to go
How'd ya like to spend Christmas on Christmas Island?
How'd ya like to spend the holiday away across the sea?
How'd ya like to spend Christmas on Christmas Island?
How'd ya like to hang a stocking on a great big coconut tree?
 

This made no sense at all so Santa went back to the business of soaking that sore foot of his and planning the big night---Christmas Eve---when he’d have more toys to deliver than a one-legged UPS man.

Of course he would have help from Larry the Lifting Elf, Byron the Brainy Elf, and Annie the Acrobatic elf.  Then he smiled when he remembered that Jack and Julia, those kids from Georgia, were going to make the trip too. They’d be fun and very helpful with a lot of the little details that are necessary to make a huge delivery like this.

Santa wanted to get them something very special for the trip but, other than the few things they mentioned in their very generous note that suggested other children be gifted first, well he just couldn’t think of anything special.

So, he decided to just put that thought on hold.  There had never been a day when Santa couldn’t come up with a gift idea---that was his business!

So, he went back to that music blasting from the elves’ toy barn.  It was so loud he couldn’t think. If it kept up he would just have to go over there and put a stop to it.

How can any elf work with that crazy music blaring out? Why it sounds like some sort of beach music. Don’t they know that they are supposed to work to the sound of Christmas Carols? he thought.

Plus he needed a little afternoon nap.  This foot of his was hurting and he had to get his rest!  And just as Santa was dozing off to sleep, here it came again!  Now they were blasting the sound of music that a bunch of guys paddling a big canoe might sing!”

E ALA E
E ALA E
KA LAI I KA HIKINA
Awake, the sun is in the east
I KA MOANA
KA MOANA HOU HONU
At the ocean, the deep ocean
And then just as Santa suffered through the canoe paddling song and started his nap again, here came what he recognized as that sappy love song Elvis sang in the movie Blue Hawaii!

So Santa suffered through this:

This is the moment
Of sweet Aloha
Now that we are one
Clouds won't hide the sun
Blue skies of Hawaii smile
On this, our wedding day
I do love you with all my heart
 

Boy, THAT DOES IT, Santa said, “that love song really stunk!”---THE IDEA OF the Hawaiian Love Song blasting out of his toy barn a couple of days before Christmas!  And so he got his coat and his cane and hobbled along the snowy path to the toy barn.

But when Santa threw the doors open he started to laugh. Hundreds of elves were wearing leis, Hawaiian shirts, and grass skirts. They were hula dancing, limboing, throwing back Mai Tais!  And there on the wall was a huge sign:

SANTA, WE’VE BEEN WORKING OUR TINY FINGERS OFF AND NEED A BREAK! 

WON’T YOU PLEASE JOIN US ELVES FOR OUR FIRST ANNUAL HOLIDAY!  THIS YEAR’S THEME IS CHRISTMAS IN HAWAII!

And with that Santa pulled his little microphone out of his pocket and said, “Turn of that blasted music for a minute I have something to say!”

The music stopped and Santa said, “Well, I may not be a big lover of palm trees, sand and sun---and I’d rather listen to Christmas Carols than that stuff you’re dancing and partying to. Plus, as you know I’m a snow kinda guy. But I’ll tell you what, if I didn’t have this bad foot I’d be limboing right under that stick over there and might even treat you all to a hula dance.

Now the elves were laughing. Then Santa grabbed his cane and hobbled for the door. “Enjoy yourselves, you deserve it. But do me two favors, cut that crappy music back a notch or two and then see if you can rummage around and find me two nice Hawaiian shirts---I need gifts for two of our friends, I’ll bet Jack and Julia would look good in them---and I’ll bet that since old Santa is kind of crippled up that they might just treat us all to limbo or a hula dance!